At some point in your life, someone is going to dump their negative energy on you.
The question is, what will you do in response?
Your answer can mean the difference between spending hours surrounded by a black cloud and being able to enjoy the rest of your day.
Negative Energy Can Stick to You If You’re Not Careful
This happened to me a couple of weeks ago.
I won’t “feed” the episode by recounting it here, but suffice to say that after responding to a request with a polite refusal, I received in return a ton of black negativity.
I was shocked. This was someone I had supported several times in the past. The response was uncalled for. It also made me feel bad simply because…well, negative energy feels bad.
But I realized the problem. I didn’t agree to the request. My view was not the same, and for this person, that changed me into an enemy.
Sad, but not my fault. Time to move on.
Except I couldn’t. The energy stuck to me. Negative thoughts kept popping up in my mind.
And my nerves were on edge.
That ticked me off. I didn’t deserve to feel bad because of someone else’s negativity.
But I did.
Sensitive People Are More Vulnerable to Others’ Negative Energy
I’ve read that sensitive people like myself can easily be hijacked by another person’s energy.
“The highly sensitive person,” writes Sarah Newman, MA, for Psychology Today, “also known as an empath, is no stranger to catching the feelings of others. They are very perceptive of the emotions and underlying motivations of others.”
Psychiatrist Judith Orloff, MD, agrees: “An intuitive empath is someone who not only senses energy but also absorbs it from others and the environment. Their body takes on the angst of the world. It can be very draining.”
That’s for sure. I felt stressed, drained, and irritated that I felt stressed and drained.
“Let it go!” I told myself.
I wanted to, but I couldn’t.
That signaled to me that there was still more I had to learn about negative energy, and how to keep it away from me.
When Others Dump Negative Energy On You: How to Recover Quickly
1. Realize it’s them, not you.
Particularly if you’re a sensitive person, you’re probably used to reviewing your behavior to make sure you didn’t do something to inspire the other person’s behavior.
In my case, I knew I didn’t. I simply spoke my truth in a polite and kind way. But even if you did make some small error, as long as you weren’t dishing out negativity, there’s no reason for someone else to throw the first punch, so to speak.
So the first step is to not take it personally. The negativity has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with its source—the other person. It’s like realizing after you pass a skunk where the stink is coming from.
2. Question your reaction.
Were you shocked by the person’s reaction? Stunned?
I was. I had to review it a few times to make sure it wasn’t a joke.
To be taken aback by negativity is a pretty good sign that it came from somewhere else. (Perhaps the person’s dealing with another trauma.) Realizing this can help you gain some distance from the situation so you can repair your energy.
3. Distract yourself.
What finally worked for me that day was diving deeply back into my work. I was writing an article for one of my freelance clients, and when I finally succeeded in bringing my total focus back on that project, the negative energy disappeared.
After about 30 minutes, I looked up and realized: Hey, it’s gone! Cool.
4. Move.
Exercise is the perfect solution for so many things—including negative energy.
Negative energy builds up inside you. You can release it by taking a walk or going for a bike ride.
If you can’t get away immediately, try turning on a good song and dancing for a few minutes, or skip some rope.
Exercise is also a good distraction. The music you listen to, the sights and sounds you encounter on your walk, or the focused effort you’re making will all help divert your thoughts away from that negative encounter so you can start feeling positive once again.
5. Don’t tell a friend.
Sometimes, telling a friend about a negative encounter can help, particularly if you have a supportive friend.
But often, it backfires.
Because when you repeat a story, you give it power.
Stories have power in our culture and our minds. If you repeat the story in all its gory detail, you cement its place in your spirit. You also increase the odds that the story will return to haunt you sometime in the future. Perhaps when you talk to your friend again, or when you repeat the story to another friend.
Squashing the story at the start by refusing to give it attention is usually the better approach. That means it will be more likely to wither and die.
And that’s what we want, right?
Death to negativity. Time is too short!
How do you shed others’ negative energy?