5 Fun Ways to Remember Lost Loved Ones Over the Holidays

For many, the holidays can feel bittersweet or even sad as they remember lost loved ones that are no longer around.

My father passed away in 2003, and my grandmother several years before that. I find myself thinking of both of them around the holiday season.

If you have lost loved ones this year, you may be struggling to make it through the holidays without those important people nearby.

Whenever we’re dealing with difficult emotions like grief, taking action always helps. Here are five possible ways you can honor and remember your loved one. They may help you find joy, even while the grief may be close by.

Remember Lost Loved Ones #1. Do something your loved one used to love to do.

When we used to go back and visit my grandma in New York, we would always make time to play cards. There was one game she loved in particular called “Pitch” and we spent many an afternoon or evening around her table playing, snacking, and laughing.

To this day, all any of us has to do is mention the game and we’ll start talking about memories of playing with Grandma.

In the last few years, my family has taken to playing the game once again, only this time around my mom’s table. We’re making new memories, and it still involves playing, snacking, and laughing.

Best of all, it gives us a chance to remember Grandma. I like to think that during those moments, she may be somewhere laughing along with us.

2. Collect some of your loved one’s old favorites.

My dad was known for telling jokes. No matter what event we were attending or what we were talking about, he could pull a related joke out of his memory and tell it expertly. He always got a laugh.

To this day I don’t know how he remembered all those jokes! After he passed away, I wrote down as many as I could, and then some more that family members recalled. For years I collected them in the hopes of one day putting them into a book that I could print for my loved ones as a way to remember Dad.

Unfortunately, I’ve now misplaced the file where I was keeping my notes. I think it’s probably on an old computer somewhere, and one of these days I may root them out and finish my project.

Finishing, though, may not be the point, as I’ve realized lately. Just talking about the jokes Dad used to tell often inspires someone in the family to recount one of their favorites, and we get to laugh all over again.

In your case, it may not be jokes, but figurines, books, dishes, or something else that your loved one enjoyed. My grandma loved those little spoons that you can get when you travel—the ones that have the location printed on the handle.

Whatever it is, collecting a few can help you feel connected to your loved one once again. As to what you will do with them after that? It’s up to you, but the end product may be less important than the process.

Remember Lost Loved Ones #3: Make a special photo.

My mom surprised us a few years ago with a special picture of Dad.

He’s riding his old Ford tractor—one that he got from my uncle, who owned a fruit orchard. He’s wearing a green cap, the likes of which he often wore, a green windbreaker, and the brown work gloves that so often covered his hands. He’s smiling, making it clear that he knew Mom was there, but he’s not looking at the camera. He wasn’t one to pose.

It was just a snapshot Mom took one day when they were outside working on the ranch. But she was wise enough to realize how much it encompassed who he was—a hardworking man who was always busy doing something useful. So several years after he passed away, she had it blown up and framed and gave a copy to each of us kids.

To this day, I can’t look at that picture without getting teary-eyed, as it just “is” Dad. Looking at it, I feel like I’m in his presence again.

In today’s world of digital files, printing a special picture of your loved one and framing it can be a really special way to remember him or her. Plus, if you hang it in a unique spot, it will give you a place you can go to spark that memory whenever you want to.

4. Plant a tree.

There’s something magical about trees, don’t you think?

My grandma lived in upstate New York, and she had several mature maple trees on her property. One of them, in particular, featured large in my childhood.

Whenever we would visit, I would climb that maple tree and spend hours up in its branches looking out over the farmland that surrounded my grandma’s house. The tree felt warm and safe and was like a secret place that I could go to indulge my imagination.

I mean, the characters that traipsed through the cornfields below me!

When I bought the house I live in now, I was thrilled to find a red maple planted out front. It was very young at the time and I’ve been able to watch it grow over the years. Of course, it reminds me of Grandma. One of these days, when it grows large enough, I plan to climb it.

You too, may have a tree that reminds you of your lost loved one. If so, you might decorate it this holiday for fun.

Or, if you don’t have such a tree, pick out a spot where you can plant one in the spring. Having that to look forward to can help you find some happiness this holiday season.

Remember Lost Loved Ones #5: Cook up something they would have loved.

Food brings families together, and it’s also good at triggering memories!

Fresh vegetables—particularly summer squash and green beans—remind me of my grandma. She was a master gardener with a real green thumb (that I, sadly, did not inherit) and whenever we visited her in the summer we always helped harvest the goods.

I spent many a summer day breaking green beans into a pan or peeling and cutting up summer squash. Like most kids, I wasn’t a huge fan of vegetables at the time, but Grandma’s fresh veggies were always delicious.

Today, whenever anyone in my family gets beans or summer squash, there is usually some mention of Grandma.

As for my dad, he got into cooking later in life. What I remember most fondly are his pancakes, as he made them most weekends from scratch. He also became an expert at making pies around the holidays, particularly pumpkin pie.

I’m sure your loved one had a favorite dish or two. Even if they didn’t make it—maybe it was a favorite item on the menu at a local restaurant—you can honor and remember them by making or enjoying some yourself. It’s sure to spark some good memories and nice aromas, too!